Squashed

Had a very mixed day and as I arrived at "Remaking", our spiritual formations night I was quite excited. I'd been over at a friends telling her about some stuff that God is bringing together - that is spinning both of us out - I'm sure you'll hear more of that in due course. But tonight we were doing some stuff around contemplation - great stuff, centering prayer. As we were discussing afterwards I was reflecting on how so often when I'm excited and celebrating I end up in a situation where it's reflective and I feel like that excited and celebrating part of me is "squashed" - someone in the group commented "squashed by God" and as I've reflected on it I have thought no - it feels like I'm "squashed by the body of Christ". That's a very normal experience for me - the lack of ability to be myself around "the church".