Over the last day or so I've had a great story of reconciliation. Again can't really talk about it in detail - but it's made me think about how I've learnt lots this year about reconciliation and about some processes of it that I haven't really known before.
I'm such a "let's figure this out" kind of person (anyone who knows me well will be going "really! how surprising to hear that - NOT!") but I've been learning lots about letting God figure it and me and others out. Not about withdrawing (although stepping back or letting others step back is often the thing I might need to do) but rather staying in the relationship at whatever level the Spirit seems to be leading me too and seems helpful and do-able and in that letting God do the work in me and in the other/s that needs to be done for true reconciliation. That may mean stuff needs to be verbalised, often way less than I might have thought was necessary (or than I might have used to in actual fact avoid the work God might be wanting to do in me or in another). It may mean leaving some space (sometimes minutes/sometimes years) for healing to occur deep within each person. It may mean relating through the tension, trusting that God will work deeply in each person; letting him do that in me and making choices along the way which offer healing and love to others. It is most likely about simple choices of love, relationship and actions which are true to both yourself and others and these are the things that speak volumes.
Finally, and most importantly, I'm learning that true reconciliation is definately a gift of grace and something that goes way deeper than anything that we could manufacture or strive for. It is always about choosing love over being right and choosing for relationship and for the things that matter over things that seem to matter but really just distract from the things that matter. It is about staying true to who you are and letting someone else stay true to who they are but about letting something far greater than any differences that raises to have the final say.
True reconciliation is a deep, precious, wonderful gift and I'm thankful both for the gift of that in many places in my life and also for the growth in a deep lived experience and knowledge of this precious, mysterious gift of grace.