Grief

A little while ago someone semi jokingly commented on the fact that I should write a book about Grief and Loss - I've certainly experienced enough of it in my life.  As I sit in an ideal situation, overlooking the ocean with indeed blue sky all around me, I ponder grief.

Today, I am deeply thankful for grief.  Grief aligns my priorities.  Grief forces me to do the work of deep knowing of self.  It forces me to understand myself as truly alone in the world.  Grief treats people as that of deep importance.  Grief forces deep honesty.  Grief is precious - it can't be manufactured - it is what it is.

Grief is also exhausting and alienating.  It won't allow your defences to get in it's way.  It refuses to give it's gifts without the recipient enduring the pain.  It is no respecter of things that need to happen or how the person wants to present.  It comes as it wishes, to do its wish.

I am very aware that you either go with grief, or you pay the cost in many, many ways.  I'd prefer to go with it.  Grief continues to make me the person I am today.  As I think through the last 10 years of my life, or even 15 years really, I can name deep grief at many points.  The work grief has worked in me, and continues to deeply work in me, I am immensely thankful for.