To what end?

For years I've been thinking about the fact that if you pursue something, you are likely to not get it.  For example, pursuing community as an end in itself seems to kill community rather than produce it.  On the other hand, getting on with doing good in the world together, tends to produce good community as a by-product.  I was reminded of this yesterday as I was talking about the way in which I am a boss to staff (which I think I do well, and staff tend to say the same ... well mostly, I've had one staff member in my time not like my style and I now understand alot of why).  Anyway, as we talked yesterday, I realised that while I love lots of what I do as a boss, I think I am too far up the end of "caring for the staff member" and not enough up the end of "focusing together on the world we are serving".  It was the by-product of this that hit me yesterday in a way I've never thought as strongly as yesterday: if I concentrate on caring so deeply for them above focusing on the outward focusing that we are wanting to do, what am I modelling and encouraging others in.  Not surprising for someone with a prophetic/pastoral gifting to find this balence a bit of a difficult one - but I think I had some new insight into it yesterday.