Sighs in Memory

2 years.
Not long.
Yet so long.
Grief still real.
Pondering, wondering, wishing,
mixed feelings, if onlys, unknowns -
just as real as ever.

Time heals they say,
yes in some ways that's true,
but from many a grief I know so well
that some grief, sadness and pain remains.
I don't want it be different -
it honours the person, honours my pain,
honours the creator of life.

Words come slowly and hard;
in many ways they don't matter,
but a sense of loss has been the phrase for me today.
However, it's more being present with myself,
present with the community around the world
who grieves together on this day - especially the closest ones,
and from that place arises a deep, deep sigh.

I felt the pain of aloneness,
of the world around not knowing how to acknowledge;
people not understanding the significance,
not knowing the reality,
of people not knowing how to be present in grief
that is past but oh so present, especially on this day.

And the day draws to a close,
and I'm content within,
and I know that I am part of a community around the world,
for whom this day remains a day to remember,
the life of Paul Hughes.