Version of the Lord's prayer

Here's a version of the Lord's prayer - which I got from jonnybakers site:

O Breathing Life, your Name shines everywhere!
Release a space to plant your Presence here.
Imagine your possibilities now.
Embody your desire in every light and form.
Grow through us this moment's bread and wisdom.
Untie the knots of failure binding us,
as we release the strands we hold of others' faults.
Help us not forget our Source,
Yet free us from not being in the Present.
From you arises every Vision, Power and Song
from gathering to gathering.
Amen -
May our future actions grow from here!

Grief and Relief

A co-worker resigned and left this week. I'm really grieving he's going. But there are other ways in which I'm relieved too. These last few months have been a hard journey for all of us - and I'm glad that at one level some of that is over. There is too a sense of relief over now being sure of some of the details of the role that we shared. Those things are all deeply true and real.

But tonight I am feeling the grief:

You'll be missed,
You're not there
Across the table
Knowing what I'll be thinking.

You'll be missed
You're not there
To take a walk, down the park
To sort through those thoughts.

You'll be missed
You're not there
with the shared understanding of organisations
and the depth of theological thinking.

You'll be missed
You're not there
To seep those values
into the culture.

You'll be missed
You're not there
To sort through what is happening
and work out ways forward.

You'll be missed
You're not there
To cringe together
to sigh together.

You'll be missed,
You're not there
to dream of the future for which we long,
to create that future together.

You'll be missed
You're not there
For those breakfasts
and other events.

You'll be missed
You're not there
with your icons,
with your broader spirituality.

You're not there
But your impact lingers on
Things are different because of you
You'll be missed.

Dreams

I've just had an evening that it's been a real privelge to participate in. It was a night of sharing dreams that are on our hearts - a group of us met, shared dreams, listened to dreams and looked for and found amazing connections in all of that. It was a good night - in the strongest sense of the word; a "sacred" night.
Yet I've come away somewhat frustrated (as well as delighting in an amazing night). While some of that has nothing to do with the evening and a stack to do with tiredness and other factors in my life I can isolate two factors of connected with the evening that I'm aware of:
Firstly, a bizarre thing to be frustrated by - people that I'm around seem to be spun out by times like tonight. I certainly am! But people around me also seem to think it's "unique" - whereas my life is full of times like tonight. Now I reckon I should feel like that's a real privelge - and I do really believe that as the truth - but tonight I'm grumpy that somehow others see that as special and don't see that I experience that on a very regular basis.
Secondly, I have various dreams, some very much of my own, some of which are shared with others. Some of those dreams get excitement and energy from others in this environment, some really don't. I came away reflecting on my dream of establishing an "intentional discipleship missional community" and how those dreams just seem too "Christian" for the comfort of many people I'm around whereas my dreams around op shops, community development, spirituality more broadly are much more accessible to people in some of my contexts.

Guilt

I've been conscious recently of a range of situations where I know I've joined with the Spirit ... but where I feel some level of guilt afterwards. I know deeply this guilt is not that of conviction but comes from what it means to be inviting people into what the Spirit is doing doesn't always fit the "nice formula" that we as Christians have often been taught. This has often been the case in these situations and the guilt comes from going against what have been held and taught formulas of sorts. But the freedom that joining with the Spirit's work brings to me and to others is sure better than any outcomes of formulas - so I think I'll keep at it!

Question of the Week

A question that I'm adding to my Examen questions that came up in a conversation with someone yesterday:
"How have I stifled what God is doing in someone?"

Question of the Weekend

A great weekend filled with many amazing moments - I must share some of them!
But the one I wanted to share right now was a question that a 14 year old friend asked me on Saturday night:
"So what is it about Christianity that draws you at the moment?"

Ace question, from an ace bloke! And great conversation followed.

Being Seen

The next step in my journey of questions from God:
after: "Being squashed by the body of Christ or not letting yourself be seen by the body of Christ?" and living a bit in the call to live in a way that let's myself be seen and finding myself in the place of "but people don't see me even when I'm living in a way that let's myself be seen".
And the question is: "What does it matter whether people see you or not".
Ouch but good and freeing.

Slave nor free

Over the last while I've been increasingly aware of the way in which I "classify" people. A whole range of categories: age, class, stage of life ... I could go on. In many ways it doesn't mean I relate to them less but it does make a very real difference. Some stuff has been happening in me that has caused me to reflect on "there is no Greek nor Jew, slave nor free" (Gal. 3:28)and this has cut to the core. In so many ways I don't distinguish between people, yet in so many ways I do and in ways that mean that identity speaks stronger to me about them than their identity as people made in the image of God, people who are "one in Christ Jesus" (Gal 3:28 again). My perceptions definately mean that I often don't relate to people in the freedom that God would long for me to and not in ways that offer the life in me to them (and receive from life in them).

Threads of my Week

It's been a tiring week but one full of life in many ways. One full of strands coming together too. There are many strands, let me share a few.

A few days ago I sahred about getting to a point of saying "squashed by the body of Chirst" - the next question that rose inside me (I reckon by the Spirit) was: "squashed by the body of Christ or not letting yourself be seen by the body of Christ?" Ouch! I think both are true but it's very obvious to me that the invitation to me is to let myself be seen, no matter how people respond. It's a hard call for me, definately a call for me to move from "communinity for myself" to "myself for the community", definately a "death to self" kind of invitation. One that has been tested this week too. And one that I also know has much life.

Last Sunday night at our gospel reflection in the Communion service I participate in as I thought about what the reading of the day was inviting me to for the coming week I said: I think the invitation for me is to let God silence my questions.

Over the last week I have read Job in two sittings with some others. It's so powerful and I've thoroughly enjoyed it. It's been interesting to do that in the context of the above statement about questions and to go "that is so what happens in that story". The thing that has lasted with me is part of Job's answer to God (in The Message): "I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand - from my own eyes and ears! I'm sorry - forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise! I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor." It's being met by God that we all need and this is the place we need to live out of, it's the only place of life and it's only when we let God silence us that we are able to be fully in that place, able to live fully out of that place.

Henri Nouwen Reading of yesterday!

Meeting Christ in the Church

Loving the Church does not require romantic emotions. It requires the will to see the living Christ among his people and to love them as we want to love Christ himself. This is true not only for the "little" people - the poor, the oppressed, the forgotten - but also for the "big" people who exercise authority in the Church.

To love the Church means to be willing to meet Jesus wherever we go in the Church. This love doesn't mean agreeing with or approving of everyone's ideas or behavior. On the contrary, it can call us to confront those who hide Christ from us. But whether we confront or affirm, criticize or praise, we can only become fruitful when our words and actions come from hearts that love the Church.

Quote of the Day

"I don’t have a voice in your life until I have a stake in your life, cultivated and genuine."

From this post via Julie

Squashed

Had a very mixed day and as I arrived at "Remaking", our spiritual formations night I was quite excited. I'd been over at a friends telling her about some stuff that God is bringing together - that is spinning both of us out - I'm sure you'll hear more of that in due course. But tonight we were doing some stuff around contemplation - great stuff, centering prayer. As we were discussing afterwards I was reflecting on how so often when I'm excited and celebrating I end up in a situation where it's reflective and I feel like that excited and celebrating part of me is "squashed" - someone in the group commented "squashed by God" and as I've reflected on it I have thought no - it feels like I'm "squashed by the body of Christ". That's a very normal experience for me - the lack of ability to be myself around "the church".

Reconciliation

Over the last day or so I've had a great story of reconciliation. Again can't really talk about it in detail - but it's made me think about how I've learnt lots this year about reconciliation and about some processes of it that I haven't really known before.

I'm such a "let's figure this out" kind of person (anyone who knows me well will be going "really! how surprising to hear that - NOT!") but I've been learning lots about letting God figure it and me and others out. Not about withdrawing (although stepping back or letting others step back is often the thing I might need to do) but rather staying in the relationship at whatever level the Spirit seems to be leading me too and seems helpful and do-able and in that letting God do the work in me and in the other/s that needs to be done for true reconciliation. That may mean stuff needs to be verbalised, often way less than I might have thought was necessary (or than I might have used to in actual fact avoid the work God might be wanting to do in me or in another). It may mean leaving some space (sometimes minutes/sometimes years) for healing to occur deep within each person. It may mean relating through the tension, trusting that God will work deeply in each person; letting him do that in me and making choices along the way which offer healing and love to others. It is most likely about simple choices of love, relationship and actions which are true to both yourself and others and these are the things that speak volumes.
Finally, and most importantly, I'm learning that true reconciliation is definately a gift of grace and something that goes way deeper than anything that we could manufacture or strive for. It is always about choosing love over being right and choosing for relationship and for the things that matter over things that seem to matter but really just distract from the things that matter. It is about staying true to who you are and letting someone else stay true to who they are but about letting something far greater than any differences that raises to have the final say.
True reconciliation is a deep, precious, wonderful gift and I'm thankful both for the gift of that in many places in my life and also for the growth in a deep lived experience and knowledge of this precious, mysterious gift of grace.

Hard Stuff

In many ways it's been a hard week. It's not stuff that I can really talk about but it is wearing and demanding at every level. The thing though that I've been enjoying the experience of is that it's not consuming. There's a level that I am really experiencing a difference between now and the past in a tricky, hard situation. I'm very thankful for being able to sense the work that God has done in me that means that I'm in a different place to how I previously have been.

Heart wrenching Truth

There are times when great, amazing words are spoken - that are very wise and true and truth far deeper than any words that are spoken is spoken into your heart. This truth is beyond words - it is a meeting with The Truth himself.
That was my experience of yesterday.

Festival Weekend

Well I'm having a bit of a struggle getting into my day today - am way tireder than I thought I would be.
It's been a good weekend. The first of the Solace festivals - a weekend away in Woodend ... some of you will know that it's a place that brings back lots of memories! Even spent quite a bit of the weekend in a pub that I have had dinner numerous times - so loads of interesting trips down memory lane to quite a different time.
The weekend itself had nurerous sacred moments, as we shared life together in many ways. We stayed in various places and came together for a number of "festival wide" events. About 12 of us stayed in a caravan park nearby in Macedon, while others stayed in B & B's in the area and other accomadation. It was a good time of such "being" together and of building stronger relationships with people you know well and see a bit as well as people you don't know very well at all.
A group of us read thru the second half of Job together on Saturday morning - a great experience, continuing on from a tiem a few weeks ago. Someone keeps saying we should make a musical of it - only half jokingly. Great discussion and powerful time of reading.
Saturday night was a powerful time of sharing from who we are. People sang songs, shared stories, discussed some art work. I spoke about some "art" I'd done - with the word Allegiance in the centre and some words from a book called Community and Growth all around the canvas. I'll try and take a photo of it soon and put it up. The art had a coffee background - an idea taken from a Sydney friend and symbolising the way that there are many people beyond the Solace community who feed me and feed into what I bring into Solace ... you reading this are probably one of them!
God was definately honoured through the sharing of ourselves and the honouring of each other that happened over the weekend.

Worship

Just went to see one of my favourite bands, that is the band of some mates of mine, Mayfly. I love those guys!
Afterwards, I was chatting to the person in the band who I know the best (an amazingly enriching conversation)who happens to be the drummer. Now this is a bloke who I've shared a house with in the past so I've seen him play lots - guitar, drums, various other things - but I never get tired of it (maybe there was the odd occasion when I was living with him and I was trying to have an afternoon nap!). Tonight I looked at him and said "you know watching you play drums is a spiritual experience". There was a slight pause and he said "I'm glad because playing is a spiritual experience for me".
That was one of the extremely profound moments in our relatively brief but nourishing conversation.

Inspiration

Why does it so regularly come between 4 and 6 am!

Why were you not Barb?

I read this quote this morning on Odyssey - a story I've heard before but which I love - and a good reminder to us all!

There is a Hasidic tale that reveals, with amazing brevity, both the universal tendency to want to be someone else and the ultimate importance of becoming one’s self: Rabbi Zusya, when he was an old man said, “In the coming world, they will not ask me: ‘Why were you not Moses?’ They will ask me: ‘Why were you not Zusya?’”
Parker Palmer Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Being Real

There is much that I love about the community of faith that I am part of. One of those things is the ability and great permission for people to doubt and just generally be in places of complexity. I love the permission and encouragement there is for people to be able to say and be real about those things.
BUT unfortunately I don't feel that there is the same free and easy space to be real about the times and way that things are just great and when complexity is not the experience. The times when it really is true to say "God is good" and when it is really easy to see God at work in your life and the world around you.
I've had heaps of times of complexity and darkness and anyone who I've been close to and who I've had the privelge of journeying with will tell you that I certainly encourage people to be honest and real with God and the community of faith in all the intensity and anger that can sometimes mean. However, if that is true it's also true that we want to encourage a space where people are equally encouraged to be real and true with God and each other when it's way easier to say "God is good", as a Matt Redman song says "When alls as it should be", or even better put, when life with God is one of ease and contentment.
This is where I am at the moment - not at all in a space where there are no issues, not at all in a place where "all is as it should be" necessarily - but definately at a point where there is much contentment in my relationship with God. I certainly know complexity, I certainly have known times of deep distress and anger at God but that is not where I am currently - and I long for more of a sense of freedom in my faith community to be able to not only be real about that stuff, but also for others to celebrate and enjoy it with me.
I'm not really sure how much I just perceive the lack of freedom to be real about being in a "content" place with God ... I suspect that there is freedom to be real about it, but that because many people are in a quite different place people don't resonate emotionally with it, which is so vital for me.